Being a failure

Alone sitting on my bed waiting for a call from my friend feels bad. Having a cup of tea in my hand and tears rolling down. Today when all my family members have gone out I feel sad. I am not at all missing mom dad but missing my old buddies and thinking what mistake have I done that they have left me. Feel rejected and depressed. When I think of my friends i am fully envisaged with old memories.
                                   
It was 2009 when I passed out from school. Being a science student I wanted to do engineering. I did not have any interest in science so my family suggested me to change my field. I went to a career counsellor and he suggested me CA (seeing my past results). Enthusiastically I left my stream and joined CA. I seperated from a dozen friends. I remember it was the last date of registration when I got myself enrolled. Entry level exam was a difficult task but still I managed. I made new friends and I was okay with the atmosphere of class in sometime. I decided that I have to pass that exam. Entirely new subjects, new classmates seemed difficult but with hardwork and sincerity I could do it. It was the day of results and with the grace of god I passed.

                                        
Again with the same enthusiasm I joined level 2 classes. 9 months class period was awesome. I made so many good friends and now I hardly missed my old ones. Even after class we did not loose contact. I was sure that I will fail in the first attempt , my buddies were not. We ALL failed. It was expected. We again prepared and 3 of us passed, 7 failed again. We again prepared and 4 of us passed, 3 were still left. We again prepared 2 of us passed, 1 still left. That was me!!!
                                      
I prepared again and failed again. I prepared again and gave exams, results are still to come but I think I have lost he battle. All my friends are busy. The old ones are busy with new ones and the new ones are busy with newer ones. I am lonely. They hardly remember me. Its been a year I have not received a message(except birthdays). When I call they are busy, with studies, with classes and studies. I CANNOT blame anyone because it is me and ONLY me who is at FAULT. Eventhough I have completed my graduation but I have nothing in hand except the looser failure tag!!
                                
I don't know where my future will lead me but for now I am super lonely and simply feel miserable as I have nothing to do and my life has become purely aimless. Not at all feeling awesome...